Sometimes I feel like that I am not only a Queenionaire of self-love, but a Goddess of love although I Never experienced the beauty of love from a man. Yes, I have been in many relationships and had many damn kids, but the true fact remains that I never experienced true love. I thought I was in love in my relationships until I went through therapy and learned, hell I didn't love none of them!! Can you imagine having six kids by multiple fathers and realize you can't even give a full complete sentence on why you thought you was in love. That's sad, but it's my truth and I no longer feel shame about it.
Now here I am at 49 years of age, looking like I'm in my early 30's and I AM READY FOR LOVE like India Arie! In my past eight years I went on a self-love journey where I practiced abstinence (not celibacy because those are two different meanings and actions. I ain't trying to be nobody's damn nun, IJS!), invested into therapy, wrote my memoir, invested into Reiki healing to release hoarded negative energies and yoni steams. Whew chile, my PH balance and Chakras is on point!
So now all of my past traumas, low self-esteem and insecurities has been kicked to the curb and I still seem to unable to attract my desire love. Then it hit me....I wasn't making space for love to come into my life!! Yes, I was healed from my past traumas of sexual and physical abuse and low self-esteem, but I wasn't healed from the things that were connected to love!!!!
Now that I am on my spiritual journey where I am one with myself, The Divine, the Universe and the Earth I decided to open my heart to love. But, before I can do that, I had to release the past fears that I was afraid of connected to love. Like one of my major fears was that I would end up alone and unmarried like my mother. My mother has not been with a man since my early twenties and she is now 75 years old. She was a single mother of three children by different fathers and I assumed that I was the apple that didn't fall to far from the tree. I am going to keep it real for ya'll, it's really Fawking scary if I must say!!
So if you are like me and you are ready for a great loving sexual passionate relationship with somebody's son, (well I know that's what I Want) What's for you is for you. Just know that I am in an agreement with your choice. I found an exercise used to make space for love to come into your life online and it really work!!
You will need some sage or Palo Santo, paper, a lighter and a fire safe bowl.
First you must smudge your space. Write a list of everything you're afraid of connected to love. This can be fear of rejection, fear of loneliness, fear of self sabotage, whatever. The number one component to this exercise is that you will need to be honest and I mean really honest about what you are afraid of. Feel it and cry that shit out if you need to. Start your statements with "I release". After you finished with your list, take it and rub yourself from the top of your head to bottom of your feet to release your energy into it. Next, blow three times on the list to release your fears onto the paper. Then you going to take your lighter and burn the list in your cauldron or fire safe bowl. PLEASE READ...When you are about to burn your list, please ball the paper up first and place it into the bowl!! Don't do like I did and fold up the paper and light it before placing it in the bowl. Hell, I almost burn down my damn altar!!! Swear to God!!! LOL Flush the ashes down the toilet and smudge yourself. It is done! You are now ready to be open to unconditional love. You can also combine this exercise with affirmations of love and spiritual baths. I will discuss that on another blog.
Until then, I wish you well my love!